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15.3.16

How a shy, introverted girl learned to do stuff alone.

I've always been the kind of person to think that I could only go there, do that if I had someone with me. Or that it would be terrifying. I'd never really go somewhere without having someone, anyone, tag along. Even if I needed to run down and quickly stock up on something, I always had to have someone come with me, or I wouldn't go at all.
It's too scary otherwise. I mean, how does anyone DO that?

Even something as simple as eating alone freaked me out, and I tried to avoid it at all costs. Lunch times were terrifying if I was alone because only a loser eats lunch alone, right?
Maybe it's because of the way society views being by yourself. 
Damn you society. 

Well, NOT ANYMORE!

As a promise I made to myself early this year, I was determined to get out of that headspace and start doing things alone. And being totally okay with it. 
Because life is short, I'm a twenty-first-century woman and who damn well cares?

Mission: sit in a cafe and eat, drink, use their free Wi-Fi all by yourself. And enjoy it. 

Although this mundane task is just that - mundane, it can be hella daunting for the shy girl who's surrounded by pairs and families. Don't lie now. You've most likely gone to a cafe, seen someone alone and thought, "Wow, they look so lonely and sad." 
News flash, they're not. 

Before:


At first, the shy girl is in unfamiliar territory. You must order your food, select the "eat-in" option, and then find somewhere to sit. A spot that caters to just one person. 

Only to lock your eyes to your phone the entire time. Just so it looks like you're busy. Avoiding eye contact with those prying stares you just know you're getting. 
I'm serious. Those people are staring at me. And judging me. I need to get out of here, right now.

This is the wrong way to spend a lunch break in a cafe. You're not enjoying yourself right now. This isn't good for anybody. 

How to do stuff alone, the right way.

Step one: stop caring about what you think others are thinking. 
If anyone thinks you're a sad loser for sitting alone, who damn well cares? They're a sad loser for thinking that.
No one is thinking anything about you. They're too busy with their own lunch to care. No offense. They're not staring at you, and they aren't judging you either. 

Step two: return to the same cafe so you can familiarize yourself with it.
Getting a sense of the environment goes a long way in making yourself more comfortable in it. Which is key. The only way to do that is to go to the same cafe each day. 

Step three: take the time to sit there, without the Wi-Fi, and just look around.
Also, to make yourself feel more comfortable. Sure, take advantage of that free goodness. But don't spend the entire time with it. 
This will help you feel more at home and less alone.

Step four: being alone is actually, super peaceful.
Take the time to appreciate being alone in that cafe. Because now, you're free to scroll Instagram and eat your food, without having to pay attention to anyone else. You don't need to speak, or listen. 
It's lovely, actually.

After:

After a few lunch breaks following the same routine, it becomes easier. Now, you're familiar with your surroundings, and you now have a regular table. 
Only now, you don't care if you sit at a four-seater. And you can go to any cafe.
While you still use the free Wi-Fi, your eyes are no longer staring at your screen the entire time. 

You're even unafraid to take that awkward flatlay of your meal and #lunchbreak it to Insta. 

Because now, you're an adult. And you can do that mundane thing alone, without having a care in the world. 
In fact, now you look forward to your solo cafe adventures. And you've made wonderful strides in conquering your shy nature. 

And by you, I mean me.
The story of my life and all.
Well done me. (Also you. Well done you. But mostly me.)



Photos by Sheree Grace
- Sheree
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4 comments:

  1. This is so great. I actually am more scared if I was going out for coffee to meet someone, like a new friend. Someone maybe you talk to online but haven't talked to in person. 10x scarier than eating alone for me! haha
    Tegan xx - Permanent Procrastination

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. OOhh, yes I can totes see that, that's a very valid point. Quite scary, I agree, the nerves and the "oh my you're a stranger" vibe. I get that!
      x

      Delete

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Any and all posts that are sponsored or include gifted items will be identified in each post with an individual disclaimer at the bottom of the post stating the nature of it (as either sponsored or gifted.)
All photos are taken by ©Sheree Grace for Kindly, Sheree unless stated otherwise. Posts will always have an indication at the bottom verifying photo credits if sourced elsewhere. Photos by Sheree Grace are not to be taken or used without permission and must be credited with a link if given.